Thursday, 1 September 2011

A laptop charger, a laptop charger, my kingdom for a laptop charger!

A laptop charger: you have no idea what I would do for one of these right now.

Having fielded a small number of text messages, e-mails and "tweets" over the last few days asking why there had been a lack of updates and articles on Who the hell is Akabusi?, I feel as though I should offer up some form of explanation. Rumours have circled as to why the last post was written nearly a fortnight ago before the victory over Forfat Athletic - rumours that I had lost interest, that I had more pressing things to do with my time, that I had spiralled into a depression after my girlfriend announced she was six weeks pregnant to a man named AJ - all of which are simply untrue. No. The reason that I have been unable to provide any updates or articles on Stenhousemuir FC and their odyssey in the Scottish Second Division is because the charger for my laptop computer has broken and my laptop now lies drained and useless.

The whole thing is thoroughly upsetting. I've discovered that there is nothing more depressing than fiddling with a plug for several hours only to stick it back into the laptop, watch the screen briefly flicker into life, and then fail, splutter and return to its dull, shiny screen. My stepfather, generally resourceful when it comes to electrical appliances, couldn't fix it and said a wire had been broken internally and the whole unit was beyond repair. Cursing like a docker, I threw the bloody thing into the bin. Apparently it will cost around £30 to buy a universal adaptor from somewhere like Maplin. Humph.

Being without my laptop and, by proxy, internet access, has proved to be incredibly frustrating and has left me completely hamstrung. I cannot complete my registration for my forthcoming University course; I cannot apply for a loan or for funding for the academic year; I cannot surf YouTube and watch videos of cats sleeping; I cannot play Football Manager (as of writing, I am about to begin the 2039-2040 season with Arsenal); I no longer have any decent material to masturbate to and have to content myself that Frankie Osbourne's dress might accidentally fall down during an episode of Hollyoaks; and most crucially of all, I cannot update Who the hell is Akabusi? Before it died completely, the battery lasted for barely over an hour and given that these articles and reports can take two or three hours to draft, it was almost impossible to provide any sort of insight or analysis on the blog over the last fortnight. You have no idea how irksome the whole affair has been. This update has been written during the quiet periods at my work.

Do not despair, friend. This evening after my work, I plan to purchase a new charger from my local branch of PC World or, failing that, Maplin and put the whole tiresome business to bed. There's plenty to write about, plenty to tell you, plenty to discuss. I have several articles and features in the pipeline, including brief match reports from the games against Forfar, Falkirk and Cowdenbeath. Before I return to University, I have arranged a week long break beginning the 5th of September and, God willing, I should be able to find the time to have these added onto the blog. That is my priority.

Well, that and seeing what's new on Tube Galore, of course.

1 comment:

  1. Whoa, the 2039-2040 season with Arsenal? It seems you made managing a football team a career too! Hmm, how's your laptop now? More to the point, how’s the football season? It's tough when you’re forced to stop doing what you usually do just because of... a lost or broken charger! Well, that’s the price of technology. Sometimes it works for you, and sometimes it doesn’t. Well, I hope you recovered from that just in time.

    Regards,
    Lakendra Wiltse

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